A Child-Like Learning

Learning a new culture has been one of the most amazing, and difficult experiences of my entire life. To be fully submerged in a new culture is a beautiful adventure that never ends. Sherwood Lingenfelter and Marvin Mayers write in their book, Ministering Cross-Culturally, that "becoming incarnate in another culture will be a trail by fire, a test of inner strength, of personal faith, and most of all a test of the veracity of one's love. An individual who is not ready to give up being an American for a time, and to begin learning as a child, is not ready for the challenge of cross-cultural ministry."

We must begin to learn as a child. This month, I've begun to understand more and more what Jesus was talking about when he said that "unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:2-4, NIV). In order to enter the kingdom of heaven, we need to leave our old, earthly culture behind, and adapt to God's culture. To do this we need to relearn everything. Everything changes when we enter the culture of Christ.

I don't believe that every Christian is called to go to a new county and be a missionary there, but I do think that every Christian is a missionary. I do think that every Christian is a pastor. I do think that every Christian is called to full time ministry. I do think that every Christian is called to give up their old, earthly culture and learn God's culture. Just because we aren't called to vocational ministry doesn't mean that we are exempt from the command to love God, then love our neighbour. That's all that missions is. Just loving God, and loving people.
That's it.
I just want to love God, and then love people.

But I need to become like a child to relearn how to love, because sin has broken my ability to do so. The Holy Spirit enables me to learn his culture, so I can love God, then love others.

Part of what I've found most remarkable about the ministry in Guadalajara is that it seeks to simply love God and then love others. We're not building a church building. We're building a church. We're not having revival meetings. We're experiencing revival in our work and in our relationships. This past weekend, we had a convivio, where all the cell groups get together to have fun and share what God's been doing in their lives. Over thirty people showed up! It was awesome to see how God united the group despite people being from different backgrounds and not knowing each other.

This month we had a prayer team from Canada come and pray for specific situations and people. God listens to the prayers of his children, and it's amazing to experience that.

In November, we also had a staff retreat at San Pancho. I think the ocean is one of my favorite places in the world. God knows how to give his children good gifts, and this time of prayer, rest, and playing in the waves and sand was one of those good gifts!

Looking ahead into December, please pray for all the travels that our missionaries will be doing for Christmas. I will be going to Mexico city with my host family and a missionary family for a few days over Christmas.

Please pray that my studies would continue to go well, and that God would give me perseverance and courage to learn whole heartedly.

Please pray that people would experience the hope and joy of the Christmas season in a whole new way; that their eyes would shift from seeing Mary, to seeing God in the form of a baby. Pray that people would see the Creator of the universe here, on this earth, just for us, to teach us how to live in his culture, to actually come to us, and save us!

Oh what a wonderful Saviour!

Christmas Convivio 

San Pancho beach staff retreat 

Prayer team

The Significance of Stories.

One of the things that has stuck out most to me this past month is the importance of stories. Not just our individual stories, but also our story as cultures, and our story as humanity.

In Mexico, Spain conquered forced the indigenous people to become Catholic. They built cathedrals over indigenous temples as a sign of their dominance.This caused the religions of the indigenous people to be blended in to the Catholic practices. This past month Mexico celebrated Day of the Dead. Day of the Dead is a day in which people remember their loved ones and try to please their spirits. The family of the dead builds alters where they place the dead person's favorite things and traditional bread. It is said that the spirits come by at night and eat all the flavor out of the bread and come have a good time. People commune with the spirits during this celebration. Generally speaking, the majority of the Mexican culture accepts that death is not the end, so this was a celebration of a life lived on earth, and a spirit continuing on. I had an opportunity to go to one of the high schools to watch a performance and celebration of the day. All of the teenagers had skeletons painted on their faces, and there were alters set up everywhere for the alter competition. This spirit of life is engraved into their culture as a way of thinking, not just as a tradition. There is a lot of value in this tradition, and the Catholic Church approves of it, but there is also a lot of things in this tradition which go against the gospel.

When Spain came and conquered, many families were often composed of a father from Spain and a mother from Mexico. The fathers would leave and the women had to raise their children by themselves. This caused the children to place the mother at the highest level of the family system. The mother is central in the children's lives, but the man is still the more powerful, dominant head of the household. If you want to get to the father, you must go through the mother. In the Catholic religion here, there is a lot of Mariology, where the Virgin Mary is sometimes placed on a pedestal higher than Christ. If you want to get to the Father, you must pray to the Mother. The religion is rooted in their story as a people.

As a Canadian/Western culture, what is our own story? Why do we do the things that we do? Why do we care so much about being on time, or why is it ok, and even encouraged, not to believe in God in our own culture? Why is our culture obsessed with making money? Why do we value education so much? Why are family systems so broken? This is rooted in our story.

As a humanity, what is our story? Why do we go looking for things that we think will fill us? Why are we so desperate to be fully loved? Why do we hurt one another? Why do our hearts ache when we see other people hurting? Why are we never satisfied?

This too is rooted in story.

As I continue to figure out my own story, and how God is developing my story, please continue to pray for me. Please pray that I would continue learning Spanish quickly (Spanish classes have been going really well, praise God), that I would be open to letting God use me however he pleases, and that I would grow in my friendship with Jesus. Also, please pray that I would figure out bus roots quickly and that I would continue to fall deeper in love with this amazing culture.

Also continue to pray for the ministry that is happening here. This past month, we had a thanksgiving dinner and it was so amazing to hear people's stories of how Christ was impacting their lives. We have a prayer team this week from Canada, so please pray for them as they become prayer warriors and pray for the missionaries, and the city. Please pray for the bible studies that are happening weekly. Pray that God would speak and move through these studies and that his grace and love would be felt no matter where the group is spiritually.

Please pray that we would see people's stories collide into God's story. Pray that God's story of redemption, freedom, grace, and healing would impact people so much that they would join into that story. God is already telling a story here. We just need to listen to it.

Thanks so much for your prayers and support. It is such a blessing to know that I am loved and cared for. Your prayers impact my story. Prayer matters.

 Day of the Dead alter at the High School

 Dance performance for Day of the Dead

Mural of Miguel Hidgalgo Costilla, leader of Mexican Independence

Thanksgiving dinner set up for 45 people

On Life and Loneliness

I would like to say that life is always easy, that I have made 100 best friends, I am now fluent in Spanish, and I have single handedly started a culturally conscious youth group that every Christian teenager in Guadalajara attends. But I can't say that. That was my unrealistic expectation of where I would be by November in this internship. The truth is, that God has brought me through the loneliest month of my life, that I have maybe one good friend, and that I struggle to remember the conjugations for "ser" and "estar" in the present tense. I have not started, or even hardly thought about starting a youth group.

But God is doing immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine. 

A reoccurring theme in the leadership positions that I've had is this: loneliness. 

I experienced loneliness in my leadership position at Columbia Bible College, and loneliness in my leadership position at Echo Lake Bible Camp. I thought that I had a pretty good grip on what it meant to depend on God during these times. I also found a pretty good coping method called, "doing so many good things that I am too tired at the end of the day to think about that lonely emptiness inside me" and man, was I good at it. 

But God is doing immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine. 

Last month I was plagued by a feeling of loneliness deeper than I had ever previously experienced. I'm going to be honest, not because I want pity, but because I know that others feel the same way. And I think we should talk about it.

I was alone, in a different county with a different language. I felt unable to fully express myself to the people I lived with in my own language, and I had no peers that I could relate to. Everything was unfamiliar and my mind was constantly analysing, and over analysing, and trying to understand language, and body language, and any language that I could find. Moreover, I couldn't cope in the way that I usually did, because I didn't know the people, culture, or language enough to be a do-gooder. 

I probably cried at least 3 times a week. 

I complained to my sisters a lot that I was so lonely. 

I pitied my poor, lonely, single self. 

But God is doing immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine. 

And then one night the internet went out and I had no way of complainacating (the act of communicating solely for the purpose of complaining) to my sisters. 

"So what are you going to do now?" God asked me. "Who are you going to talk to now? Who are you going to tell your fears to?" 

I laid in bed and cried. 

And then this light bulb moment happened that was painfully obvious. 

"Oh, I should talk to Jesus about this." (Duh).

yeah. people. all my life I have known Jesus was with me and was my "friend." I've sang songs with the phrase "he's my friend" so many times I can't even count it. I've told other people that Jesus was their friend. So why didn't I have Jesus as my friend? 

Jesus had been, and is my Savoir and Lord, but he was never was really my friend. 

I laid in bed and started talking out loud to Jesus through my tears. 

And then I felt this peace wash over me. I had been understood. Completely and fully understood and completely and fully loved.

Jesus is my friend now. 

When I finally became friends with Jesus, I could give myself the freedom to fail because I realised that my identity rested in him, not in my successes. 

This changes everything. I no longer have to analyse if I am good enough, if I am everything that everyone expects me to be, or if I am even everything that I expect myself to be. 

Things started to change. I met this CBC grad who is working with MB Mission and who can pretty much relate to everything that I am going through in my internship because a) she's done her internship, b) she's living in Guadalajara for the first time, and c) she's learning Spanish.

I'm making friends with Mexicans. 

My Spanish has started getting better. 

I started getting less culturally awkward. And when I am culturally awkward, I laugh about it. So many giggles recently. It's fantastic.

I still get lonely and have moments of missing familiar things and people. But then I tell Jesus and he says "I know. I get you."

He gets me. Completely.

I realised that I need God more than I need myself. I came into this internship really dependent on my gifts, how God was going to use me, and how I could change the world. Now I am dependent on what God is doing, and how he is changing the whole world into his Kingdom. I am but a breath. What freedom I have experienced from being a single exhale. 

Jesus, and only Jesus has made me happy. Every good and perfect gift is from him. Only Jesus can make me happy. 

When I pray, I don't ask God to help me, I ask God to let me see that the harvest is plentiful. 

God is doing immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine. 

So I give up all that I was asking for and imagining. 

I give up. I'm just going to be who God created me to be. And if anything with "ministry value" happens because of that, neat. If not, then I will still have glorified God by simply existing and having been made in his image. I'm just a container for his Spirit. 

We don't have to be lonely in our leadership. Jesus is there. Talk to him. He will give you a way out of your loneliness. I'm not saying that we don't need human friendships, humans need humans. But Jesus is the only one who can fully meet our physical needs, relational needs, emotional, and spiritual needs. He is the one who makes us happy. 

So friends, if you are lonely, it's ok. Your situation is probably vastly different than mine and maybe you are already best friends with Jesus, and he's bringing you through this for a completely different purpose. Maybe you are suffering from years of loneliness, of years of crying out to God, but only hearing silence. I don't know your situation, and I don't know why suffering exists, or even if God has a purpose for it. But I do know, with all of my heart, soul, and mind, that Jesus is there beside you. Jesus hears your crying. Jesus cries with you. Jesus loves you. 

God is doing immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. 

We are not alone. 

All we need is Jesus. 

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Ephesians 3:20-21

This is Community

It was 9:00pm. I had just come back from a busy day of meeting new people and straining my mind trying to decipher a language I didn't know. Tere, my Spanish teacher, and also my host, told me that she, her family and some of her sister's friends  were going to go play sports at a park and I was invited. Sometimes, after a long day of sitting and listening to a language you don't understand, all you need is the familiarity of sports. The language of sports is pretty universal: Make teams, have fun, try to win. So all nine of us piled into a five person vehicle and headed over to the field. Someone in the vehicle was eating some food and offered it to everyone. "This is community" Tere said, "we ask people if they want." 

I think sometimes we get distracted by the boundaries we put around community. We want to put it in a box and fabricate it instead of simply participating in it. It didn't matter that I wasn't like everyone else in the car. I was in the car and therefore I was in community. That was it. Simple. 

This past month has been an incredible learning curve. There are new sights and sounds and smells and language and culture to take in. There's been a lot of learning. Each week I attend Bible studies and am welcomed with open arms by everyone there. I've met lots of people in their homes, at birthday parties and gatherings. Everyone has been so open and kind. I have felt the presence of God among the community of  believers here so evidently. 

I've made some good connections with people in various Bible studies and can't wait to see how those relationships will develop. Pray for me that I will be a servant in every way, also asking what small things I can do to live more like Jesus. 

I have started language classes and they are going well. One of the missionaries told me that 90% of language learning is culture learning. Language is so much more than the words we speak. It's also the actions that we take. It has been tiresome not understanding people and not being able to communicate with them. Learning takes time and I am sure that soon I will be able to hold at least a decent conversation! My Spanish teacher is an amazing person and I am so blessed to be able to live with her and her family. Being constantly immersed in the language and culture will speed up the learning process and it is such a privilege to be able to be a part of their world for this month. 

Also, can we talk about how good the food is here!?!?! Did you know that there is more than one kind of taco? Did you know that if you put this chocolate based spicy sauce (it's called mole) on your tortilla it's delicious? Tamales exist. Pretty sure we could achieve world peace and end hunger with tamales. There is food and it is good. There is food at every thing. There is food on every street. Buen provecho! 

I would love your continued prayers for me. Please pray that:

-I would be patient with the learning process. 

-I would be a servant. 

-God would continue to work powerfully and that he would unite believers across the city.

 Here's a glimpse of what I've been up to this past month!

Week 1:

The Amazing Race!

Paulina and I adventuring all around the city during the Amazing Race, learning where things are and how to get around. It was amazing!  

Week 2:

 Tapalpa

September 15 is Grito de Dolores (Mexican Independence Day). To celebrate I went with Dallas and Tara who are long term missionaries here and Paulina's family to the village of Tapalpa. We stayed in a cabin and went hiking to a waterfall. 

Week 3: 

Tlaquepaque

Enjoying the sights and sounds  at Tlaquepaque. Mariachi originates from Guadalajara and is everywhere!

Thanks so much for your prayers! They mean so much to me.

Summer Support Update (Part II)

God has provided.
Always has.
Always will.

Even if it looked different than what I thought it would.

THANK YOU.

I have all of the support I need to live in Guadalajara for the next 8 months. 

It's actually such a miracle to see what support has come in both in prayers and in finance. God has proved himself over and over to be Provider, and that he knows my need, and sees me. We serve an incredibly loving and faithful God! I am left breathless by his grace. I've been taken in by the avalanche of his love. 

On Tuesday (One! More! Week!) I am leaving on a jet plane and beginning my internship. 

It's going to be beautiful. It's going to be awkward at times. It's going to be joyous. It's going to be stretching. It's going to be so much more than I ever imagined. 

Ministry is messy, but all miracles are. Let's pray to the Prince of Peace to make calmness out of chaos, to draw his people to himself, and to make us more like him. 

God is doing something big. 

On another note, the regular season of camp has ended. Thank you for your prayers for Echo Lake Bible Camp. It has been one of the best and most stretching summers I've ever had. We have seen kids' lives changed by the good news of the gospel and by the love that they experienced in one week. It's a weird thing to think that I won't get to dress up like a unicorn on a weekly basis, and shout "YIPPIE KI-YAY" at the top of my lungs several times a day, but I still get to share Jesus with people and still get to live in his love and grace. What a blessing!

Ministry never stops. 

Please continue to pray for me as I prepare for leaving for Mexico. It's a busy time, but it's a good time. Also, keep watching this blog and Facebook for updates!

We're depending on God;

he's everything we need. 

What's more, our hearts brim with joy

since we've taken for our own his holy name. 

Love us, God, with all you've got-

that's what we're depending on.

Psalm 33:20-22 (MSG)

I AM GOING TO GUADALAJARA!!

HEY YOU GUYS!

WE DID IT! WE BOOKED A FLIGHT TO GDL!

Thank you for supporting me. God has used you and your generosity to show me that he is Provider and Sustainer. That he is in control. In 10 days around $1000 of donations came in. That is incredible. Thank you.

I will be getting on a plane September 8 and continuing to follow Jesus to Guadalajara for 8 months.

Thank you.

I am still in need of at least $2000 more dollars by the end of August. If you haven't jumped on board this adventure with me, you're invited to whether that's through prayer, or financial support.

There are three ways to give:

1. Contact me on facebook or at allisonschneck7@gmail.com and I will send you a form that you can send with your donation to the EMC conference so that you can get a donation receipt.

2. You can donate online at https://emc440.radiantwebtools.com/donate/ under the campaign Missions Fund with a note to seller that you are making a donation for Allison Schneck.  This form of donation is also recieptable.

3. If you don't want a donation receipt, you can mail your donation to P.O. Box 2232 Fort St. James, BC V0J 1P0

God is already working in Guadalajara. I have an opportunity to work alongside Christ and other dedicated believers in reaching these people. I want to share that experience with you. Keep following this blog for updates, and to be a part of my prayer team, send me an email at allisonschneck7@gmail.com.

Blessings upon blessings, our Lord walks with us!

Statue in Guadalajara. Taken by Brad Schneck, 2012.

"The First Day it Changed My Life."

Let's talk about camp. Because Echo Lake is where it's at.

It's not always easy to tirelessly love campers when they don't love you first. But that is what we're called to do. Not just at camp, everywhere. Whenever I get tired I ask God to give me a broken heart for campers. It's the hardest prayer ever because God consistently breaks my heart, but it's the only way to remind myself why camp matters, why ministry matters.

A few weeks ago I asked God for a broken heart.

And God broke my heart.

A few weeks ago I saw Jesus work in a young camper's life like I had never seen before. This camper was reluctant to come to camp to say the least. She stood scowling at registration. She let everyone know she didn't want to be there. Within the first hour of camp we discovered she struggled with self harm. She had already visited the nurse twice for cuts on her arm that she apparently didn't know where they came from. At this point, we didn't even know if we had the staff to keep her safe. We called social workers with questions. If we couldn't keep her safe, we'd have to send her home. No questions asked.

But then before dinner I noticed something about her that I hadn't noticed before. She was smiling. She was laughing. She had a light in her eyes. I wanted her to stay so badly. She had already sensed Jesus by dinner time. Jesus had started working in her heart through the laughter and the silliness of camp.

After dinner there were no more trips to the nurse for the rest of the week. No more band aids. She was safe. And she was loved.

The whole week there were glimpses of hope. The light in her eyes shone brighter.
There whole week there were also shadows of reluctance. Fear would creep up behind the light in her eyes and she would take a couple steps back to where she had been before.

But she kept smiling and laughing. She and I had a few opportunities to talk. It wasn't even about anything deep or spiritual. We both had metallic temporary tattoos. We both didn't like One Direction. That's it. I didn't think I was making an impact.

After Tuck (candy time) on the last day she gave me a note. And it broke my heart.

She wrote, "The first day that I came to this camp I thought it would be boring but I regret saying that. The first day it changed my life. And just thinking of I might not be able to come again makes me so sad. I just want to stay here forever and ever... I love you as a best friend... Thank you for the best week of my life."

Her social worker emailed camp the following Monday to say that this camper loved camp and to ask if we have any more spots available during any other weeks. The transformation is visible beyond the boundaries of camp.

ALL THIS BECAUSE OF JESUS. All this because Jesus made his love gush out of the staff. All this because Jesus knows this girl and loves this girl.

Camp is full for the rest of the summer. Unless spots open up, she might not get to come again.

Please pray that she would continue to feel God's presence.

Because Jesus doesn't just live at camp, he lives everywhere. And Jesus doesn't just reach people at camp, his love reaches everywhere.

The part that amazes me most in this is that God doesn't even need me. He could have revealed himself to this camper all by himself. He could have used somebody else. But he used me. I got to witness this. I got a glimpse of what heaven will look like. I got a glimpse of his perfect peace.

And it happened again this week. A camper came screaming not wanting to even get out of the car. She left crying because she didn't want to leave camp. God used a cabin leader to show his love to this camper. The cabin leader's life is changed because of it. The camper's life is changed because of it.

When God shows up everything changes.

So continue to pray for our campers. Ones that have come and ones that are coming. Continue to pray for our staff. Pray that we would have broken hearts. Pray that God would work through our brokenness.

God is restoring his people. God is bringing peace. This is everything. 

Summer Support Update

A while back I made a little blog post about what I'm doing this summer (You can catch up on that here: http://tomorrowisthursday.blogspot.ca/2015/05/what-cha-doooin.html )

Here's an update.
Camp has started! We are just about to go into our third week of camp and it is so good.  I have had moments where everything in me screams "This is why I am alive!" and also moments where everything in me screams "I need a nap!" I have seen lives changed because of the love of Jesus. There is nothing like looking into the eyes of a camper who has experienced the transformational work of Christ in their lives just in one week.  It is a beautiful ministry. Amongst the chaos of camp there is the calm of Christ that speaks out "my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Camp has taught me to trust God for everything. We need nurses. God has provided. We need cabin leaders. God has provided. Speakers. Provided. Healing. Provided. Energy. Provided. Over and over God is faithful. God is teaching me to trust him. God is teaching me to pray boldly.

This week while I was at camp I got an email from the Evangelical Mennonite Conference Missions Mobilizer notifying me that I still have over $6,500 to raise for my trip to Guadalajara, Mexico this coming September. I haven't had much of a chance to raise support because camp takes up most (all) my time. Was I crazy to try to do camp, support raising, and two internships at the same time? Maybe. Does God have a plan to make calm out of this chaos? Yes. Does he have a plan to show himself as Provider and Sustainer? Definitely.

God will provide.
Always has.
Always will.

Even if it looks different than what I think it should.

So friends, I'm asking for your support. I need your prayers. I need a team who will pray for me this summer as I work at Echo Lake and as I prepare to go to Mexico. If you'd like to be a part of this team and get weekly updates on how I am doing and how you can be praying for me, please email me at allisonschneck7@gmail.com with your name and I'll send you updates starting Saturday!

I also need your financial support. If you'd like to be a part of this ministry, please donate. There are two ways to do this. Firstly, you can contact me on facebook or at allisonschneck7@gmail.com and I will send you a form that you can send with your donation to the EMC conference so that you can get a donation receipt. Secondly, you can donate online at https://emc440.radiantwebtools.com/donate/ under the campaign Missions Fund with a note to seller that you are making a donation for Allison Schneck.  This form of donation is also recieptable. Lastly, if you don't want a donation receipt, you can mail your donation to P.O. Box 2232 Fort St. James, BC V0J 1P0 or contact me via facebook or email. If you could send in your donations ASAP so that I can begin planning the logistics that would be muchly appreciated! Please consider how you can support me during this time. Every little bit helps, whether $10 or $100 do what you feel called to do.

God is doing something huge at Echo Lake right now. God is doing something huge in Guadalajara right now. I get the opportunity to be a part of both of those things. What an amazing blessing! God is bringing his people to himself and I get to do that with him. God uses me despite my flaws. His love extends to the corners of the world. His love extends to the corners of my soul. He is with me and I am with him.

Thanks for your support, friends. I am truly blessed.

Echo Lake Bible Camp- Sunset July 2015

"What cha doooin'?"

You might be interested in what I'm doing with the next couple of months of my life. I think it's fun, you might too, I dunno. 

SO! Starting right about now, I'm the Summer Program Intern at Echo Lake Bible Camp. I'm taking over for our previous super awesome program director for this summer as he moves on to a different Bible Camp on Pender Island. Pretty neat. I'll be starting with some rental groups in June and then onto full blown regular camp season in July and August. I'm excited! Super excited!! God's going to do something crazy at Echo Lake this summer. I can feel it. Smells like revival. Also smells like sweat, sunscreen and bug spray. Mmmm. (Shameless promotion: http://elbc.ca/ )

I need your prayer for that, folks! Pray that I would have creativity, confidence, and Christ-likeness. (Three Cs, see how I did that? Alliteration helps remembering. I really want you to remember to pray for me this summer.) Also, let's proclaim God as provider. This is his camp. He will do things when he wants, how he wants, using the people he wants. And his way is always perfect. (Proclaim Perfect Provider. I did it again.) 

THEN! In September I will be going to the urban-middle class city of Guadalajara, Mexico on an 8 month internship with the Evangelical Mennonite Conference's Ascend Internship Program. I will be serving alongside of six experienced long term missionaries and doing things such as children and youth ministry, leading Bible Studies, discipleship, friendship evangelism, student ministry, and recreational involvements. Language learning and cultural adaptation will also be central to my internship, as will intercession. It's going to be a Jesus fiesta. (Shameless promotion:

http://www.emconference.ca/ministries/mexgdl/about/)

I need your prayer for that too, folks! Pray that I would be a learner and a light. Once again proclaim God as the Perfect Provider. Pray that I would get the financial support I need to actually be able to go (If you'd like to support me, send me an email or message me on the Facebook). Pray that God would blow my preconceptions of what missions looks like. Pray that I would have a broken and humble heart. 

AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW! 

All I know is that God is doing something on this earth. He's building his perfect kingdom using imperfect people like me. He's saving people from brokenness and restoring them to wholeness. He's showing us how to be more human because of his grace. Let's not just do something great together, let's be something great together. Because that's all God wants us to be. He just wants us to be his. That is peace. 

*High fives for Jesus!*  

*Shalom in the home!*

*Blessings!*

 

Grace, rest, and everything in between.

A lot has happened this year, folks.

I'm done my second year at Columbia Bible College. It has been the craziest year. I was blessed to be a resident leader at CBC and learn what it means to love and lead completely through the power of the Holy Spirit. I learned that we are broken. I'm learning that we are made whole.

I learned that even in the midst of the darkness, there is still Light, there is still Hope.

I learned that when everything falls apart God makes something beautiful and amazing out of it.

I learned that sleeping matters. I learned that I am not a super human. I learned that 5 hours of sleep is not enough for me to be a loving, gracious, intelligent, or even comprehensible person. I learned that naps are important, and that you're not a bad person if you go to bed before midnight even if you could do more homework. I also learned that without sleep, you may end up falling down a flight of stairs while going to an 8:30am class, spilling all of your precious, live giving coffee on innocent bystanders, and loosing your glasses on the way down. Experience is the best teacher I guess.

I learned that howling at the moon  creates a magical bond between people that cannot be easily broken. I learned that cats are cool and that Meow Mondays matter. I learned that tye-dye shirts bring people together. I learned that everyone likes free food. More than all this, Jesus unites people. Without Jesus, we're all puzzle pieces that belong to separate puzzles.

I learned that it takes courage to show weakness. This courage is strength. I learned to stop pretending that I had my life together and that everything was just peachy, because I don't have everything together, you guys, and life sometimes is not peachy. I learned to cry. I learned to lament.

I learned to rejoice. There is life in surrendering to God's plan. It's ok not to have everything figured out. It's ok if God feels silent. It's ok because he is there. He is not a distant deity. He is always there. Praise be to the Comforter who is close to us!

At the beginning of the year, a prof shared this verse. At the time I was sick with a "I've done too much and slept too little" flu and needed to hear just this:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly" (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG).

At the time rest sounded glorious, but it also sounded like a myth. I had answered a giant "Yes!" to the first three questions, but the way to finding rest wasn't really what I wanted. I wanted to earn my rest. I wanted to get all the things done on my check list before taking a break. Learning the unforced rhythms of grace seemed like a waste of time when there was so much to do for God. I couldn't understand rest because I didn't understand grace. I didn't understand that all God wants us to do is work with him, not for him, to keep company with him, not bring company to him.

It was when I understood my brokenness that I finally understood grace. When I understood grace, I could finally rest.

Now I am learning to live freely and lightly.